I am a firm believer that you can never really know how the events in your life (the good and the bad) will shape you. Mine, like so many others, is a story with ups and downs, twists and turns. My core beliefs and life experiences have been shaped by some amazing adventures and faith-testing challenges. As much as I try to plan my life, most things that happen are unexpected, and many of my plans tend to unravel and lead to better things that I could have never imagined.
Right now, I am in grad school working towards becoming a counselor. But I didn't start that way. Back in 2008 I graduated with a BA in Communications concentrating on film production. So how does a former film student decide to be a counselor instead? To make a long story short, the turning point was when I was a production intern for a company in New York. I was told something that stuck with me and made me question why I was in this business: "You're being too nice." No joke. I realized I was in a field (or at least a company) where being "nice" was apparently a character flaw. Why do they never prepare you for things like that in college?
After leaving that experience, I spent about 2 years in career limbo, working in retail, trying to figure out where my life was heading (Does anyone ever really know the answer to that?). Then one day, out of nowhere, my friend inadvertently places on opportunity bug in my ear. Ever have that happen? You hear an idea or opportunity and it just gets stuck in your head and it won't go away until you do something about it? This particular conversation went something like this:
Friend: My friend who's leading a mission trip to Scotland this summer told me that the organization is looking for leaders for other trips. He asked if I wanted to lead one, but I'm just too busy.
Me: (Holding my breath until she finished her thought) For a second there, I thought you were going to ask me if I wanted to do it.
Friend: Do you?
Me: Uhhhh….I guess if I had more information...
Friend: I'll send you the contact info and I'll email the contact he gave me.
Within 24 hours I made the decision to serve as a leader in Haiti for 2 weeks (this was the summer after the devastating earthquake). Did I mention that I had a week to prepare for it? If I had anymore time to think about it, I might have talked myself out of an experience that got me out of my period of limbo. Many things happened in those 2 weeks (to keep this story short, I won't go into it here), but ultimately it reopened my eyes to how broken and imperfect the human race is (or at least I am). Most importantly, I was reminded of some other words that I heard in a moment of prayer the summer before my senior year of undergrad (you know, when you're really anxious about the future):
You aren't defined by your degree. You are defined by Me. Your story is directed by Me.
That is, if you choose to follow Me.
I realized I spent so much time trying to plan my life, ruminating on why I had "failed" that I forgot to see the purpose behind those closed doors. With a renewed outlook, I began praying fervently for direction, During that time I was reminded of a career that had piqued my interest in college: counseling. I took an intro class my sophomore year but, at the time, I felt the weight of responsibility that I felt too immature to handle. This time around, it seemed like a natural move. I began calling a few friends who went through grad school for counseling and they all had the same reaction to my consideration: "It's about time!" What can I say? I like to take the scenic route to my destinations. The thing about scenic routes is you may be traveling on unfamiliar terrain that's bumpy and hard to navigate, you might get lost, but you are rewarded with sights you would have never seen otherwise.
Continuing with the driving metaphors, I hit a speed bump about a year ago. At the time, I was about a year into grad school when I felt a lump on my neck. About a month later, two more lumps showed up. At the time I was without insurance and scared. Until that point, I never had any blights on my medical history (other than a few broken bones), not even chicken pox. I bought insurance for myself and saw a doctor. Then I saw another doctor who ordered some tests and eventually a biopsy for the "very slim chance" that it was cancer. It was cancer. Specifically Hodgkin's lymphoma, stage 2a. I was then ushered to my third and final doctor and after a month and a half of more tests, 2 months of chemo, and 10 sessions of radiation, I am now deemed cancer-free. For a more on that part of my story you can visit my other blog.
After that I developed a strong desire to figure out my goals and dreams (for the developing list, visit the "Life Goals" page). It seems like a cliche to say it, but getting cancer (and surviving it) was a wake-up call. By no means do I want to reach the end of my life, whenever that may be, and feel as though I have wasted it.
After that I developed a strong desire to figure out my goals and dreams (for the developing list, visit the "Life Goals" page). It seems like a cliche to say it, but getting cancer (and surviving it) was a wake-up call. By no means do I want to reach the end of my life, whenever that may be, and feel as though I have wasted it.
This is (part of) my story so far, but I am still unfinished.
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